Have you ever experienced being so unhappy with yourself? Have you ever felt so mad that you have so many flaws in your body that whenever you go out, you will just visualize yourself being scrutinized by the people around you? Have you ever been so disappointed to yourself that you just wish to look like somebody else who is nothing but perfect from head to toe? Have you ever been discriminated in a way that it drowns you in so much depression? Beauty is such a simple word but it is being interpreted in so many ways. Just because you have many flaws, you are fat, you are thin or short doesn’t mean you are not beautiful. If you have this kind of mindset right now, then you better start changing it, otherwise, you will find yourself in such nightmare that will take you almost forever to escape. Believe me! I’ve been there and I can tell you that it is one of the darkest chapters of my life. I would love to share you my experiences right now because I would like you to change the way you see ”beauty” before it’s too late
There is a cliché stating that “beauty is only skin deep” that external attractiveness has no relation to goodness or essential quality. Well, these are all true as I have seen many couples who managed to build a strong relationship and embraced each other’s flaws. As much as I want to convince myself that someone will love me based on my character and personality and not the way I look, there is something inside me who keeps on discouraging my thoughts, telling me that you could have a girlfriend only if you look this way and only if you act that way. For a guy who used to have a waistline that reaches 50 inch and above (yeah, that’s almost a size of the whole tape measure), I’m sure you’ll understand where exactly I am coming from.
Yes, I was once obese and I can blame no one except myself for abusing my body. The more I gain weight, the more I lose my confidence until I came to a point that I decided just to isolate myself from the others because I always have this fear that I will be discriminated because of how I look. Well, I know some of them will do, because I have experienced it so many times and I still feel the pain. I still remember riding a bus but ended up being a laughing subject because people see me occupying the two seats. Of course, I never let them see my pain but deep inside my heart is breaking into pieces. I want to cry but I don’t want to because I no longer want them to see my other weakness. Being discriminated is like being shot by invisible bullets that will penetrate all the way to your mind, heart and soul and will remain there forever!
Every day for me is being hopeless. I will just lie down and try to sleep because I know in my dreams, I am that ideal guy that everyone can adore. I am that guy who is just so cool in a way that he no longer needs to do much just to please everybody. Every time I see a couple, I always tell myself “oh this guy is so lucky, he is gifted with a nice body with a nice amount of confidence and that’s how he got his girl”. As you see, my mind was completely corrupted because of the kind of environment I grew up with. I gave “Beauty” a criteria, a standard that should be followed. I fell into a trap that is seemingly inescapable. I was too focused on that kind of mindset that I failed to realized the real meaning behind this simple word.
Regrets, that is the only thing I got from this corrupted perspective of beauty. It’s true that I lost so much weight but the fear is still there. I still have these thoughts that I might get rejected again, the fear that someone will scrutinized me from head to toe, the doubts that people who starting to like me only look on my physical appearance and not what I really am within and the pain of being discriminated. All these, because I completely messed up my thoughts and I let the people around me dictate what they want me to be.
This is the reason why I am encouraging everyone to change the way you see beauty. We are all perfect and special in our own ways. We better stop showing what we are not just to please the people around us! We should stop hating our body, our face, and our personalities and instead, we should embrace our flaws and imperfections and let people accept who we are. Go ahead and start grabbing your phone, take selfies and let the world know that we are all confidently beautiful with a heart (*wink).