Change The Way You See Beauty

25061043905_d531b4e28f_zHave you ever experienced being so unhappy with yourself? Have you ever felt so mad that you have so many flaws in your body that whenever you go out, you will just visualize yourself being scrutinized by the people around you? Have you ever been so disappointed to yourself that you just wish to look like somebody else who is nothing but perfect from head to toe? Have you ever been discriminated in a way that it drowns you in so much depression? Beauty is such a simple word but it is being interpreted in so many ways. Just because you have many flaws, you are fat, you are thin or short doesn’t mean you are not beautiful. If you have this kind of mindset right now, then you better start changing it, otherwise, you will find yourself in such nightmare that will take you almost forever to escape. Believe me! I’ve been there and I can tell you that it is one of the darkest chapters of my life. I would love to share you my experiences right now because I would like you to change the way you see ”beauty” before it’s too late


“Were it not for shadows, there would be no beauty.”

There is a cliché stating that “beauty is only skin deep” that external attractiveness has no relation to goodness or essential quality. Well, these are all true as I have seen many couples who managed to build a strong relationship and embraced each other’s flaws. As much as I want to convince myself that someone will love me based on my character and personality and not the way I look, there is something inside me who keeps on discouraging my thoughts, telling me that you could have a girlfriend only if you look this way and only if you act that way. For a guy who used to have a waistline that reaches 50 inch and above (yeah, that’s almost a size of the whole tape measure), I’m sure you’ll understand where exactly I am coming from.collagerr
Yes, I was once obese and I can blame no one except myself for abusing my body. The more I gain weight, the more I lose my confidence until I came to a point that I decided just to isolate myself from the others because I always have this fear that I will be discriminated because of how I look. Well, I know some of them will do, because I have experienced it so many times and I still feel the pain. I still remember riding a bus but ended up being a laughing subject because people see me occupying the two seats. Of course, I never let them see my pain but deep inside my heart is breaking into pieces. I want to cry but I don’t want to because I no longer want them to see my other weakness. Being discriminated is like being shot by invisible bullets that will penetrate all the way to your mind, heart and soul and will remain there forever!
Every day for me is being hopeless. I will just lie down and try to sleep because I know in my dreams, I am that ideal guy that everyone can adore. I am that guy who is just so cool in a way that he no longer needs to do much just to please everybody. Every time I see a couple, I always tell myself “oh this guy is so lucky, he is gifted with a nice body with a nice amount of confidence and that’s how he got his girl”. As you see, my mind was completely corrupted because of the kind of environment I grew up with. I gave “Beauty” a criteria, a standard that should be followed. I fell into a trap that is seemingly inescapable. I was too focused on that kind of mindset that I failed to realized the real meaning behind this simple word.
Regrets, that is the only thing I got from this corrupted perspective of beauty. It’s true that I lost so much weight but the fear is still there. I still have these thoughts that I might get rejected again, the fear that someone will scrutinized me from head to toe, the doubts that people who starting to like me only look on my physical appearance and not what I really am within and the pain of being discriminated. All these, because I completely messed up my thoughts and I let the people around me dictate what they want me to be.1013341_10207056960455737_7527781222466881845_n
This is the reason why I am encouraging everyone to change the way you see beauty. We are all perfect and special in our own ways. We better stop showing what we are not just to please the people around us! We should stop hating our body, our face, and our personalities and instead, we should embrace our flaws and imperfections and let people accept who we are. Go ahead and start grabbing your phone, take selfies and let the world know that we are all confidently beautiful with a heart (*wink).

0 thoughts on “Change The Way You See Beauty”

  1. Macy Santos says:

    Wow! I never realized Blue Dreamer that you been through all that and become triumphant. I admire your honesty in sharing your story and this will serve an inspiration for me as I go through the challenge of battling with my insecurities.

  2. Jen says:

    This is so inspiring! Kudos to you! This post is so share-worthy!

  3. theresa says:

    You still look pogi even in your early days. You have truly an inspiring story.

    1. Alyssa Tuangco says:

      I agree. This man is very inspiring.

  4. Lex says:

    Your courage to share this shows how strong a person you are. Keep being positive.

  5. If you never mentioned it, I wouldn’t know you were the big guy! Wow! I really look up to people like you, because I know it takes a lot of determination. People should hear about your story! 🙂

  6. Abby says:

    I love this inspiring and introspective post! A great read to start my day 😉

    Abby | Life in the Fash Lane

  7. SASWATI BHOI says:

    This is so inspiring, thanks for sharing!! Truly, be proud of who you’re; don’t ever look yourself down! All that matters is the confidence you carry and the inner beauty you’ve inside of you!! 🙂

  8. Coi says:

    Inspiring! I think all of us have our own insecurities and it’s up to us on how we deal with it. 🙂

  9. Such powerful writing and well done for losing the extra weight. That must have taken commitment and hard work over a period of time.

  10. Wow, you’re such an inspiration. Thank you for sharing!

  11. Mirriam says:

    the concept of beauty from a guy’s point of view…that segue to Huawei tho ???? Anyway, I hope you can share some tips on how to get fit. ????

  12. Joanna says:

    It is indeed not about looks but about what’s inside us. Shame that our society has these “beauty” trends that promote a certain type of body as being beautiful. There are millions of people going back to bed every night crying because they have been bullied or laughed at for not being in these standards.

  13. Sriparna says:

    First of all, kudos for not giving up! I have few friends who have gone thru the same and so have I… I can totally comply with you! Very well written…Thank You for sharing your feelings and experience to such depths!

  14. What a lovely post, I actually wrote a similar post too, particularly since I find it hard to appreciate my own beauty. In can be difficult to see yourself as beautiful but we should all appreciate that we were made to be/look different.

  15. Chuck says:

    You will surely inspire more people with this dude. But at the end of the day its all about acceptance.

  16. I’m seeing a lot of good shots from Huawei P9 lately. Make me want to get one for myself!

  17. Thanks for your inspiration! I definitely feel like a little embarrassed going out sometimes because I’ve gained some weight, but still trying to work out 🙂 Not ashamed tho!!

  18. Zwitsy says:

    This is such an inspiration. For those who are struggling for whatever they think of, I hope they’ll realize that what matters most is us and that no matter what others say, you should be confident enough about yourself since you know who you are and that’s important.

  19. Carola says:

    Impressive story. more people should look at beauty that way! There a lot of “beauty standards” that take over how we value beauty. Make us believe there’s some objective standard. But there isn’t. It’s subjective. And everyone thinks something else is beautiful. And everyone is beautiful. In his or her own way!

  20. Darlene says:

    Congrats on your transformation! Indeed the Huawei P9 is one phone that I’d like to have because of those Leica. I have seen the photos from my friend and it’s truly amazing what it can do.

  21. Maria says:

    Reading about a different take on beauty is really an eye-opener. People would discourage or say negative stuff to people who are curvy, a little chubby. Insecurities are ever-present and it always depend on how will you take it; if as a motivation or a source of discouragement.

  22. Kat says:

    Oh I didn’t expect this to end with a phone ad. :p I think most people can relate to this. All of us have insecurities. I used to be overweight as well and suffered from acne for years, so I know what it feels like to have low self-esteem. What I learned later on is that it’s important to accept yourself for who you are, it’s something that you owe to yourself, and at the same time strive to become healthier and look better as well.

  23. Wow, what an achievement to lose that much weight! Great job! I’m sure your story will inspire many. I agree that beauty is subjective. It’s in the eye of the beholder as they say. 🙂

  24. Nica says:

    Wow! Honestly, I’ve been a frequent reader in your blog and this is the beat that you’ve ever written and shared. I am happy for you that you were able to accomplish your goal – you are such an inspiration!

  25. Such an inspirational post. I really admire your conviction. You have sent out such an important message through your post that we generally tend to ignore and follow the marketed definition of beauty being placed on outer skin. Beauty is always skin deep.

  26. Yan says:

    Waaaah I was actually thinking how obese you were when you mentioned it in my blog, now I know. This is definitely inspiring. T____T; What did you do to lose weight?

  27. Nya says:

    This is a truly inspiring post. I couldn’t agree more , this is such an important message; and thanks for sharing your story. Most of all, we need to take care of our bodies and our souls, but not for the sake of what society says it’s beautiful or not.

  28. this is a very powerful thought to change the way one perceives beauty. It is said that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. And most of the eyes seek external beauty. But the day people would go beyond appeaances and see the soul , would be the day people would learn to appreciate beauty for what it is.

  29. I can totally understand what you’re saying. As a child I used to suffer for weight issues as well. But losing the fats wasn’t enough , I needed to do some work on the inside and change the way I used to see myself. Thankfully today I see things differently.

  30. ROBERT LEE says:

    What do I say? Beauty is a matter of perspective. No matter how one looks, how hard life may be, how dreams seem impossible, it is all a state of the mind. You either tilt towards the negative or bask in the positive energy as you go about living life that way it should be lived – one of happiness.

    Incidentally, regarding being obese… here is a related post:

  31. Liv says:

    Great post man! I think the media in general has a big part in the “wrong” standards of beauty in our society. It should be more about the inside and about the way you treat other people and the world around you. Being kind to yourself and the world around you, that is true beauty. Be proud of yourself! I love the last quote about the body and soul…Keep on inspiring people!!

  32. Sabine says:

    I agree. We should not only look to our outside. However if we feel unhappy with our body, there always is a solution. How brave to show us your transformation. Well done! That’s not easy!

  33. Martine says:

    Inspiring! Thank you for sharing your journey. I see beauty as a transformation in many ways. That’s because it has the power to shape who we are, and not just the physical aspect. I am glad you took responsibility for your health and happiness. Bravo to you!

  34. Ann Balisbis says:

    If only people will look not only on the outside. Too bad, nowadays, it seems like otherwise. I have a lot of insecurities with myself right now, and other people make me drown on the thought that I should really be ashamed of those insecurities. Haaay, but I’m slowly trying to change it. It’s all in the mind. True beauty is from within, and with that, I’m confident enough that I’m wayyy more beautiful than others. hihi 🙂

  35. I completely agree! Something is beautiful to us if we love it. So if we think that we are not beautiful, it is because we do not love ourselves enough. And if we believe that something is beautiful, we make it even more beautiful. My favorite quote about this subject is from Catholic writer G.K. Chesterton about how a mother puts a ribbon on her baby because it is beautiful to her, not because she thinks it is ugly.

  36. Your post dude especially with the P9 part, honestly made me laugh because i was too serious reading this post because i can relate to how you felt on your past then all of a sudden, i’m seeing Huawei P9. hehehe…
    but i totally agree that we must change how we see beauty because inner beauty can never be measured by the outside appearance.
    and i’m happy for you that you’re now fit coz that’s one of my struggles right now. Enjoy life! 🙂

  37. Miranda says:

    Such a wonderfully written post. I am one of those who struggle with self-image. I am afraid that I am not enough within my own skin. You are absolutely right though, beauty is not some predetermined criteria that everyone has to meet. You can be beautifully incredible in your own way, shape, form, and size. The only ugly is the one society created!

  38. Louisa says:

    I’ve felt less than happy with my outward appearance. I think it’s important to be happy both within yourself and with your physical self. It is a matter of perspective though because each person is different. My inward happiness outshines my unsatisfactory feeling for how I look so I try and keep up with that.

  39. Wow, you sound exactly like me. Remember, you are not alone, pretty much everyone who comments feels the exact same way. I m crying for you. I m a college junior and I have been struggling with feeling good enough. I have had a hard time lately and I relapsed with self harm. I feel like I m broken ?? .

  40. Mia Foo says:

    a truly inspiring post! both on breaking away from the social norms that revolves around beauty on the skin surface, and weight loss! 🙂
    However, I will beg to differ that true beauty just comes from being yourself and the more you show who you really are, the prettier you will be. What if a person’s “true self” is hardly anywhere near being beautiful? We shan’t close an eye to the fact that our younger generation are getting more and more self absorbed and has since developed a sense of entitlement which almost can be translated into everyone else owes me a living. I sincerely hope that this amazing idea of changing how we see beauty and taking it beyond just skin deep, physical appearance will not further feed their me myself and i attitude and expecting people around them to accept them for just what they are, without seeing a need for improvement.

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